Become Intolerant


Yesterday I shared Coach Richt’s 3 Point Plan For Fatherhood.

Love God

Love your wife

Show the way

I focused on changes we as parents need to make to help our kids grow into successful adults by showing the way.  One of the most important areas we need to show the way in is by loving our wives.  Now I know we all know this and if any of us were asked we would all respond, “I love my wife.”  That is good, but loving our wives goes so much beyond just saying we love them.  It really comes down to how we act each day.  I am talking about actively loving them.

Now before going into “HOW” to love our wives I want to talk about “WHY” to love our wives


1 – We are commanded to love our wives as Christ loved the church.  Now I do not know about you, but I know I fall way short of this all of the time.  Jesus loves all of us so much that He gave His life to pay our sins.  On a day to day basis we are not faced with as dramatic of a decision to give our lives for our wives, but we are constantly presented with opportunities to show our wives how much we love them.


2 – We obtain favor from the Lord through our wives so we better stay married.

3 – Our children need the influence of both mom and dad in their lives.  If we as husbands do not love our wives properly our marriages could end in divorce.  The family unit is under attack in our country.  We are called to be warriors and fight for our families.  Show your children what a committed husband and father looks like.  Our sons will grow up to be like us and our daughters will grow up to marry men like us.  That is a VERY big responsibility.

Now let’s discuss “HOW” to love our wives.  I am far from an expert here and honestly look forward to some great comment s from other champion husbands about how you love your wives.  One extremely helpful resource for me has been Dr Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages.  I encourage you and your wife to buy this book, take the test, & apply its teaching.

Essentially we all show love and feel loved in different ways.  If your primary love language is words of affirmation you may tell her how beautiful she is and how much you love her all of the time.  Although we need to do that any way if your wife’s primary love language is quality time she will not “FEEL” loved.  Be proactive in your marriage and learn how to better love your wife.


Lastly I would encourage you to evaluate all decisions you make and actions you take against this simple question, “Will this get me closer to or further from the marriage I want to have with my wife?”  There are lots of things we could do with our time, but in light of that question they may not be the wise thing to do.  Unfortunately our culture is full of examples of broken relationships and we cannot simply do the things that everyone else is doing.  This is not an exhaustive list, but here are a few actions I had to evaluate in my life that were not helping me have the marriage I wanted with my wife

Drinking alcohol

Watching football

Using foul language

Making jokes at her expense

Hanging out with friends who did not love and honor their wives or girlfriends

Checking out other women

Listening to rap and rock music that objectifies women

Being short tempered

Listen to men who complain about their wives or girlfriends

Those are just a few areas where I fell short big time and I realized I needed to take intentional actions against so we would not wind up like everyone else who did not have the marriage I wanted.  This is a wise phrase I learned that gave me the right perspective to make the necessary changes, “What you tolerate your give permission to exist.”  I still have so many areas I need to grow and improve in, but I look at where our marriage is today and I thank God for how far we have come.

Question: What is one habit your have that you will no longer tolerate so you can improve and safe guard your marriage?  Comment below

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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2 thoughts on “Become Intolerant

  1. I would say one habit that I will no longer tolerate, is purposeless decision making. Their are so many decisions I make throughout the day that either have no direction (i.e. directions that terminate into myself) or decisions that lead in a direction that is just plan foolish. Either way, this is a habit that I have had years of training in :), so it will require greater effort and focus to train a different habit.

    Here’s to be being better than yesterday